f-o-u-r-s-t-r-i-n-g-s-deactivat:

HAHAHAH YOU WOULD THINK SO, RIGHT???

GATHER AROUND CHILDREN I HAVE A STORY FOR YOU.

ONE TIME I WAS WITH MY FRIEND MILANA AND MY BOYFRIEND DANIIL. THEY’RE BOTH FROM DIFFERENT PARTS OF RUSSIA AND ARE NATIVE RUSSIAN SPEAKERS.

AND I WAS TELLING THEM HOW MUCH I LOVED HEARING THEM SPEAK RUSSIAN BECAUSE I THINK IT’S A FUCKING GORGEOUS LANGUAGE.

I TURNED TO DANIIL AND JOKED AROUND TELLING HIM THAT IT WOULD BE REALLY HOT IF HE SPOKE DIRTY TO ME IN RUSSIAN SOMETIME WHEN WE WERE HAVING SEX

SO HE WINKS AT ME, LEANS IN REALLY CLOSE AND SAYS SOMETHING IN RUSSIAN RIGHT IN MY EAR 

AND MY FRIEND MILANA FUCKING BURSTS INTO HYSTERICAL FUCKING LAUGHTER, LIKE FALLING OVER, CACKLING, WRITHING IN AGONY LAUGHTER

NOW OF COURSE I DON’T UNDERSTAND A SINGLE FUCKING WORD OF RUSSIAN SO I’M CONFUSED AS TO WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED SO I ASKED DANIIL WHAT THE FUCK HE SAID

NOW WHAT DID HE SAY, YOU MAY ASK? 

“ICE CREAM HORSE”

HE’S NOT ALLOWED TO SPEAK TO ME IN RUSSIAN ANYMORE